You surviving the open bar?
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I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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