The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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