She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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