shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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