it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
