Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
