Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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