saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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