ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
