Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
