he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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