Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
