What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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