Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize