awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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