She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize