Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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