i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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