Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
