your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
