I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
