Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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