She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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