it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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