Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
