I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
