I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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