There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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