And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
there was a trapeze. enough said
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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