So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My life is pants optional.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
