So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
