I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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