my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
barbara walters just said penis...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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