hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She's the barista slut.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
