i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
