even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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