whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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