She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
