saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
