I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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