So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize