Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
