And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
