Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
