Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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