i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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