you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
