If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
