i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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