addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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