Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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