Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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