We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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