I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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