Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
