yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
