You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
