I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
