My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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