I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
