i dont even know how to be here
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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