Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
