you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It was confusing and full of hummus
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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