some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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