hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
