It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize